spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
