Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
