WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
