Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
