When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
