some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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