she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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