I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
