You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You made out with two different species that night
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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