she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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