I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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