i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
