Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
