Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
