we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
