this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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