would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
This house was built for laser tag.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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