You're so nebulous sometimes
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I'm really busy with my period
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