Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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