It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
