The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
accomplished twins. life is a go
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
