It's just like the Real World with babies
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
