I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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