he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
