I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
