you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
