i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
