And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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