oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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