Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
