did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
