So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
