Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
