i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
