either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
