I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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