Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
