Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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