great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
