I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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