Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
