Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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