I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
