I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Cover your peen. We're going out.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
