Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
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I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
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Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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