why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
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