How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I cockslap morals
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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