i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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