My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
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