The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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