After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
