you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
