dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Text me some of your sweat
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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