If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
