season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
