Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
