Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
