there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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