So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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