i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just want to make out with him forever
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
