Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
