I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
