I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
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