I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
