Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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