yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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