8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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