i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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