While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
